think back to where you last saw them

well readers. i can see you are wondering what this is. i will put you out of your misery. it is a sonic keyfinder keyring. what you have to do is whistle and it will flash its little red light and beep wildly at you so you can find your keys. its a little bit like a dog in some ways, although of course no self-respecting dog would bleep when whistled at.

herself purchased one as a present for her friend's partner who is always losing his keys and while she was at it she thought she would also purchase one for himself. himself gets very stressy about his keys. if he can't find them he flaps around like a tornado, shouting at everyone "where have you put them? think back to where you last saw them!" they are usually located where he left them, often in the all-consuming kitchen drawer under the silly pompey hat.

himself put his keys on the sonic keyfinder keyring and came into the bedroom to kiss herself goodbye before heading off to work. herself was waving the infernal hair machine round her head. "bleep, bleep, bleep" called the sonic keyfinder keyring from himself's pocket. it must have mistaken the infernal hair machine for someone whistling. poor thing must be tone deaf. himself looked a little dismayed. "i'm sure it is just teething troubles" said herself, "its just a case of getting used to it."

himself came home from work and gave the sonic keyfinder keyring straight to my boy. my boy was thrilled as he loves bleeping things. herself was less pleased. "why have you given it away?" she wailed.

it seems there is an advert on the radio station that himself listens to. the station is called talk sport and seems to be full of opinionated men sounding off about chickens, or fowls of some sort and slide rules and all sorts of nonsense. himself is something of a football fan so listens avidly to this drivel.

the advert that caused the problem is for a burger place called asperger king. this is the proper name for what is going on in my boy's brain that makes him so good at computing. or maybe the burger place is called macdonalds. anyway, in the advert there is someone whistling. so the whole way to work the sonic keyfinder keyring was going off and himself couldn't do anything about it because it was fixed to his keys which were in the ignition. i don't think apoplectic quite covers it.

some people are never grateful...