Friday, January 30, 2009

clarification

her maamship has challenged me to describe to my readers just what it is that young dave does when he is enraptured with his wedding tackle. her maamship, it has to be said, has seen the act before, usually when the peeps are eating, so i can only conclude that her request is purely in an effort to make yours truly blush. as today is her first day of true judgeship, having been enwigged yesterday, i will humour her. but i would warn those of you who are squeamish to talk amongst yourselves for a para or two.

young dave, as you know, is a lurcher. the lurcher is a type of dog known as a longdog. this does not refer to the wedding tackle but to the body. a long body is useful for many things, not least stopping your legs banging into each other when running fast.

young dave has chosen to turn his long body to good use performing what i believe is known as 'oracle six' on himself. it seems that humans have to engage the help of another human to perform oracle six but young dave has discovered that with the help of one or two yoga techniques he can achieve quite satisfactory results solo.

so there you have it. the only problem that young dave might experience on his wedding night is how to incorporate his bride into this activity without ending up in a knot...

11 comments:

Auntie Jane said...

ROFLOL... Very good description. Brilliant.

Woman in a Window said...

hahahaha! (it does go on for a while, my laughter)

My dog has lately employed the help of a neighbourhood stray for a crushing crescendo of oracle six!

crazymumma said...

you make me want to google oracle six to see what all the fuss is about....

Vetnurse said...

ROFLMAO no knot no good ROFLMAO

deb said...

I have a neighbor who was concerned because her young, male dog had a discharge from his penis. She took him to the vet to find out that the discharge was semen and that her dog was simply a wanker:)

joker the lurcher said...

mrs deb - your neighbour sounds like the peeps when they had ducks. one weekend all the ducks (except norma the drake) were flopping around looking really ill. as himself used their eggs in sandwiches and quiches that he sold on his sandwich round, the peeps were worried. there was talk of bottulism and all sorts. the ducks were bundled into the van and taken to the vet. it turned out they were just shagged out. norma was given his own little enclosure where he paced up and down in a temper and the lady ducks cheered up no end.

Penny said...

Truly priceless, ROFL

Maddy said...

Oh my! Sadly Thatcher is be de-quipped at the vets as I write.
Cheers

Lynanne said...

Oh, dear Joker, you crack me up. I'm going to need you to send me some of Young Dave's puppy piddle pads if you keep this up! We humans tend to get weak bladder muscles after having a litter of pups, you see.

The oracle six, I get - boys will be boys. Why the need to sniff each other bums, though?

BTW: Congrats to herself on the wigging (or whatever the official term is). Do you really still wear the silly wigs?

Woman in a Window said...

(argh, I got off FaceBook and now don't have your e-mail...THOSE UNDERWEARs are funny, the man too. Inspired by similar provocation, I'll trust:)
erin)

She said...

I love coming here. You never fail to make me laugh, and boy, do I need to laugh!

Thanks for the cheer up!