her maamship has challenged me to describe to my readers just what it is that young dave does when he is enraptured with his wedding tackle. her maamship, it has to be said, has seen the act before, usually when the peeps are eating, so i can only conclude that her request is purely in an effort to make yours truly blush. as today is her first day of true judgeship, having been enwigged yesterday, i will humour her. but i would warn those of you who are squeamish to talk amongst yourselves for a para or two.
young dave, as you know, is a lurcher. the lurcher is a type of dog known as a longdog. this does not refer to the wedding tackle but to the body. a long body is useful for many things, not least stopping your legs banging into each other when running fast.
young dave has chosen to turn his long body to good use performing what i believe is known as 'oracle six' on himself. it seems that humans have to engage the help of another human to perform oracle six but young dave has discovered that with the help of one or two yoga techniques he can achieve quite satisfactory results solo.
so there you have it. the only problem that young dave might experience on his wedding night is how to incorporate his bride into this activity without ending up in a knot...