a guest post from phoebe

hello. i am phoebe, joker's new lady friend. he has very kindly allowed me to write a guest post on his famous blog. this is because he is indisposed today. he has had to go to a place called the evil vet to have his shoulder stitched up. the shoulder thing arose out of a little bit of a misunderstanding between dear joker and i. when joker and i first met we got off on the wrong paw. he did not realise i was a lady dog. i suspect this was because i was a little stinky, having been living in accomodation that was not really up to scratch. anyway, joker mistook me for some other sort of animal, possibly a skunk, and took against me.

a couple of days after i moved in we were on the beach. i was still on my lead as i hadn't settled in enough to know which people belonged to me. joker came running up and sank his teeth into me. without thinking i whipped back with my own rather sharp teeth.

no-one noticed that they had gone through his skin as he didn't bleed at all and it was not until a couple of days later that it became obvious that he had been injured. on christmas eve my good lady owner noticed that joker was wounded and bathed it with salt water. but on christmas morning joker was really poorly and looked like death. so my good lady owner gave joker some of my pink pills for pale pooches and also some of the drippy stuff that stops you hurting. she rang the evil vet to make sure this was ok and they said to bring joker in after christmas.

in spite of more pink pills the shoulder was still a bit grim so joker has gone to have it cleaned up and stitched. he will have to wear a t-shirt for a while to protect the wound. i hope to persuade our boy to take a photo of him in the t-shirt.

anyway, that is the background to why i am writing a guest post. now for the actual post. i'll tell you a bit about myself. i'm a lurcher. i am middle-aged. i am very slim, due to not having had enough to eat for a long time. now i get masses to eat so i expect i will soon be piling on the pounds. i am very pleased to have found a home with joker and his people. they seem very nice, if rather odd. odd things happen here the whole time, which are interesting although sometimes a little stressful. yesterday, for example, a lady came. it seems she is a hair slayer. she painted my good lady owner's head and wrapped shiny stuff around it. then she put my good lady owner's head in the sink and poured water over it. then she put her in a plastic tent and cut most of her hair off. i tried a bit but it was a bit tickly to eat.

i think i will like it here.