love is in the air...

dear readers, i am in love! the object of my affections is the lovely lady shown above. she is a little nervy, having had not too great a time in the past, but i am sure with the odd little cuddle from me and my boy she would soon settle down ( i should add, for the benefit of my more smutty-minded readers, that this would be a purely platonic relationship on account of me no longer having the old wedding tackle).

herself has taken to browsing the internet looking at pictures of homeless lurchers. this all started because the puppy-sitting has been such a success. young rokit and i get on like a house on fire. herself has always thought two dogs would be nice but my sometimes grouchy temperament has put her off finding me a wife. however the fun and games with rokit have put a spring back into my step which is quite obvious to anyone. yesterday the peeps were sitting watching rokit and i sprawled out in front of the fire when herself broached the wife question.

"the old fella has really taken to having someone to share the fire with." she said.

"yes" agreed himself.

"i think he would like a wife," she went on.

"er, no," said himself, it has to be said rather half-heartedly. behind this lies a tale.

i used to have a wife called maisie. she was an aberration in herself's dog ownership. herself has had dogs since she left home at 18. they have usually been crosses of collie with something. they have all been rescued from grim lives. maisie's predecessor was a border collie called lad. he had been ill-treated, having been a farm dog on a farm where his owner had moved on without taking the dogs. when the dogs were found, tied up in a barn, all but lad had to be destroyed.

lad was terrified and starved. when herself took him home he would not come near her. so she got a good book and sat in the garden. this went on for several days. as lad had been tied up he was in the habit of running in small circles and it was not long before he had worn his own track. eventually he came up to herself for a sniff. she pretended not to notice. after a couple more days he licked her hand. this was the beginning of a friendship that lasted 12 years. my boy's first word was 'lad'.

when lad got old he got poorly. herself tried all sorts of treatment suggested by the vet but it was obviously not helping. he had a sad, resigned look in his eyes. herself decided the least she could do for him was not to let him suffer, after all the years of devotion he had given her.

when the peeps got home from the vets they could not bear to be in the house. it was clear they had to find another dog pretty soon. but herself could not stand the thought of another collie, so soon after lad. so they decided on an airedale terrier. this was how maisie came into their lives. in their defence it has to be said that they were grief-stricken. no-one of sound mind would take on an airedale.

maisie the airedale was so mad they had to put her in kennels when they went to stay the night anywhere as she was in the habit of smashing up people's houses. however this proved fortunate for me. on one occasion they were picking up the old girl from the kennels when herself saw a sign - "male lurcher needs home". she asked the kennel lady if she could have a peek. it was love at first sight. my boy and himself were retrieved from the car to have a gander at me. they too agreed they were the family for me. i was introduced to maisie the airedale. arrangements were made for a homecheck visit, although this was something of a formality, given that the kennels people knew that anyone who could cope with mad maisie could cope with any dog on the planet.

after a little bit of posturing maisie and i reached an accommodation. i would be in charge and she would get any feminist nonsense out of her pretty little head. this worked well, at least from my point of view.

i have been single for many years now and a bit of female company would be nice. young rokit would have to mind his language in front of a member of the fairer sex but i think we could rub along fine. it is just a matter of persuading the lurcher rescue people that we are nice...