voiceless

hello dear readers! yet again i must apologise for herself's absence from the keyboard. i am at her mercy when it comes to typing. i have investigated voice-recognition software in an effort to try to get round the problem of the paws, but alas, among all the multitude of languages there are, they do not produce a lurcher version. herself has no excuse - she is still off work so she has hours to play around with. even allowing for the inordinate amount of time it seems to take her to do things these days (i believe it is one of the laws of nature that activities will expand to fill the time available) you would think she could spare the odd moment to help me keep up with my public.

i suppose, if i were being charitable, that i might explain that she has been in the wars. first she had a stiff neck and shoulder, which made the keyboard an instrument of torture. as this was getting better she decided to hang out some washing and ping whatever muscle it was again, thus making for another week of winging. then just as that was getting better she came down with what is known round these parts as 'one of her throats'. i am not sure why she would come down with anyone else's throat.

the throat was almost certainly caused by washing her car in sub-zero temperatures. the economy drive has moved into a new phase. from january herself will be on half pay. as she is signed off sick until at least january it is inevitable that the family finances will get a bit tight. so she is selling her car. not only will this save money on diesel and other running costs but the sum it fetches will pay off the credit cards, thus allowing the peeps to continue to eat in the new year.

so sparky the audi was in for a wash and brush up. herself, in true adhd style, made an early start. so early that sparky still wore a coat of ice. the process of washing, waxing and hoovering took hours. herself finally fell gasping into the house and into a hot bath. dear readers, especially those of a beefburger persuasion, this is a saying. she did not actually fall into the bath but climbed in. just so that's clear.

the very next day the throat started to prickle. then got sore. then very sore. then croaky. at this point my boy and himself have a tendency to rejoice. they know of old that once she gets croaky the next stage is blissful silence. no nagging.

herself is back in full voice now, although with a deeper tone than usual. this is just as well. young rokit is due to start coming to be puppy-sat from next week. rokit is a friend of mine who has more energy than sense. he is a charming little chap, and shows the beginnings of a fine beard. last time he came, herself taught him the word 'leave'. this was to stop him chewing my ears. i don't really mind them being chewed but i suppose at my age cosmetic surgery might be best left to the professionals. anyway, when rokit was delivered back to mrs rokit, he was proud to show off his new skill of leaving my ears alone. mrs rokit was impressed.

"i usually discuss things with him a bit, and try and reason with him, but this blunt no-nonsense approach really works!" she said. mrs rokit works at the same place as himself, looking after a rather lively and interesting little girl. the blunt approach would certainly not work in that department.

anyway, hopefully now normal service will be resumed and i can tell you all about my adventures with rokit...