the dark arts

here is a picture of dave and i chilling out. we are exhausted. not only am i having to walk miles on the lead to show young dave how its done, but i am being kept up till all hours by my boy. he has taken up necromancy. necromancy involves sitting around with his dressing gown over his clothes writing endless screeds in funny writing, then covering them with tea to make them look old and rolling them up. it also involves pacing round the house wielding a broom handle and saying he is a mage. i think this may be short for magician but i am not sure as the whole point of necromancy seems to be to maintain an air of mystery.

my boy has re-arranged all the ornaments and candles and lines up various jars containing liquids which he says are potions. i have had to lean hard on herself to break the habit of a lifetime and use capital letters as all the things to do with necromancy have names in capitals. there is The Key of Anarchy, The Weight of Justice (actually a brass fob from a hotel doorkey given to us by a doctor friend), The Elixir of Truth, The Stone of Destiny and The Staff of Wisdom. my boy lights a great many candles and sits by the fire mumbling spells. it is really difficult to get to sleep with him pacing around with The Staff of Wisdom, hence the bags under my eyes.

herself has been slightly more enthusiastic about the new hobby than i am. it keeps my boy off the computer and gets him writing things, albeit in unintelligible runes. or perhaps Runes. and she says it will be a slightly more socially acceptable career than that of an assassin. she will be able to boast about "my son the brilliant necromancer" at coffee mornings...