Friday, May 18, 2007

life, the universe and everything...

tonight herself hit her head on jupiter one time too many. regular readers will know that we have had the universe in our kitchen for some time. all was fine until the pond-digging day. as well as being a former graver-digger, the software engineer is also, well, an engineer. just because he engineers software it doesn't mean he has shrugged off that well-known engineer's habit of fiddling with things.

herself's dad is a former engineer. he has a computer. he cannot just leave it alone and be happy with it. he has to fiddle with all of it until it doesn't work. his peddle bin is instructive. when a little plastic bit broke he didn't give up the ghost. oh, no. the peddle bin of an engineer is expected to put in some mileage before it is put out to grass. so the old fella put in a nut and bolt and even a washer to mend it. now the hinge is so strong it will probably cause the rest of the pedal bin to crumble with plastic fatigue.

anyway, the software engineer did not like the wonky universe. "its just a matter of getting it balanced" he said. herself protested. "the universe is unbalanced!" she said, "our universe in the kitchen is simply reflecting that!"

the software engineer was not to be distracted. after half an hour of fiddling he had managed to balance the planets. this meant that pluto was rather nearer the sun than mother nature untended. but engineers are untroubled by such trifles. the only problem was that now the universe was balanced, pluto was right where the peeps hit their heads when they were getting a cup for a cuppa-tea.

himself is the tallest. "can you just help me get the universe down?" herself asked, rather plaintively. "no!" said himself. "i am going to seek solace in my monastry!" i should explain that this monastry is not in the real world but in a rather odd computer game that himself plays.

not to be beaten, herself got hold of the potato masher. she used this to unhook the universe in order to move it to a higher place where it would no longer bang heads. a loud crash was heard. one of the planets had bitten the dust. "what the hell was that?" said my boy, rushing in. "you've wrecked earth!" "no, its only pluto." said herself. well thats ok then. unless you happen to live on pluto of course...

2 comments:

Her Bad Mother said...

can I borrow that potato masher? please?

Iseult said...

That's okay - last year some scientists decided Pluto isn't really a planet anyway. I want my own universe now, though, or at least solar system. I shall have to hunt one down here in the USA.