Sunday, July 01, 2007

new shoes

herself collected the new shoes yesterday. they are, as my boy said, well cool. they come with a dvd to show you how they work. this in itself is rather odd. shoes should, it seems to me, just go on your feet and then be forgotten about. but then i only have paws so what do i know.

everyone gathered round the laptop to watch the dvd. a canadian robot provided the soundtrack. the extreme programmer is staying and he rolled up laughing. he is very tall so there is a lot of him to roll up.

"i am going to set up a company that makes shoes that need a training manual and become a millionaire!" he cried. in reality the extreme programmer is already well on the way to becoming a millionaire. he is only 24 and already earns more than herself. he works for the best company on the planet who seem to own most of the internet. they have toys in their office and dogs are allowed to go to work there. they have a gym and restaurants and it is so cool that the employees never want to go home. so he is really not going to diversify into shoes.

anyway, i digress. after watching the dvd herself did a few laps of the kitchen. the shoes seem very wobbly. my boy, who now has feet the same size as herself, tried the shoes. he was impressed. he did a few laps and then gave them back to herself. by now herself was keen to try some of the exercises. it seems that even when you are standing still you can exercise by rocking backwards and forwards. in the dvd the people were doing this while waiting to check in at the airport.

"but you don't go to the airport every day!" protested my boy.

"well, you could rock in the queue at the supermarket." said herself, firmly.

"might as well go on the grape diet and sit on the bus rolling your eyes!" said himself. this was a reference to herself's birth mother who was of an eccentric disposition. she once read a book that said you could throw away your glasses if you did special eye exercises so she used to sit doing them in a spare moment, often to the entertainment of strangers. she also went on odd detox diets which gave her headaches.

in the evening my boy's sitter came so the peeps took the extreme programmer to the pub. herself wobbled in on the new shoes. after a pint of guinness the shoes were even more wobbly.

"i wouldn't like to wear these when i was drunk," she said, "they ought to warn you about that on the dvd." himself observed that the sort of people who were on the dvd wouldn't let anything other than distilled water past their lips.

"maybe that's why they make your stomach more toned," mused herself, "you can't drink too much guinness when you are wearing them." i feel she may need to watch the dvd again...

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