Friday, June 08, 2007

i'm blogging this

dear readers, i am not sure where to start with this weeks fun and games. since we got back from our respective holidays it has been all go. the most blogworthy day was undoubtedly wednesday so i will confine this missive to that.

on wednesday herself had a lot to do at work. there was to be a meeting in the afternoon about all the nasty people. everyone is supposed to have written an update for the meeting. needless to say, herself had not done an update. she had been too busy taking the nasty people to court to write about which nasty people she had taken to court. she was therefore not exactly looking forward to the meeting. she is not good in meetings anyway. she hates sitting still, hates having to keep quiet and is in the habit of saying what she thinks which does not always go down well. her notebook is full of pictures and little notes to her colleagues saying things like "losing the will to live!"

so when the barbie queen rang her up and said "i am a bit worried about some bad people. i think they might hurt someone!" herself had offered to rush off to court before you could say "key partnership working". the barbie queen is one of herself's colleagues. she is called the barbie queen because she has a collection of barbies, including one called 'slut barbie' who has a cigarette and an indecently short skirt.

because herself had not planned on going to court she was dressed even less like a lawyer than usual. she had her red sandals on and a black t-shirt that says "i'm blogging this". i think this is to warn anyone that herself comes across that they are blog-fodder. clearly the judge would not be impressed at being blog-fodder. usually herself has a spare black t-shirt in the car but on this occasion none could be found. "i know," she said, "i'll turn it inside out!" the one problem with this was that the label then stuck out. herself persuaded a friendly youth worker to snip off the label and off she and the barbie queen went to court.

the judge agreed that the bad people needed to be stopped and made court orders to that effect. herself and the barbie queen waited for the office to type them and then roared off to meet sgt goose who was going to come along to keep the bad people in line. sometimes bad people get a bit annoyed when they are told they have to be nice.

sgt goose collected together some other police officers as these were particularly nasty bad people and they all went off to hand over the papers. by now herself had put her t-shirt back on the right way round so she had to fold her arms across her chest so the nasty people didn't find out they were blog-fodder. the paper-handing-over went without a hitch, not least because of the presence of the bunch of police officers. you would have to be not only bad but also very stupid to attack a lawyer in front of a bunch of police officers. they all went back to the office.

as herself got out of her car she noticed several trucks parked in the road, loaded to the top with rubbish. there is a man over the road to the office who seems to think he can run a waste disposal business from his house. he has trucks loaded with fridges which he dumps around in lay-bys and at beauty spots. this man is on the list of "people who need to be dealt with".

in order to kill two birds with one stone (relax bird-lovers - its a saying) herself got out her camera and took some shots of the trucks to use in court. the man was not keen on this. herself told him she was from the council and went indoors for a cuppa. when she eventually emerged to go home, the rubbish man was berating sgt goose about his human rights. qt, another police officer, appraised herself of the situation. "he's not happy" he said. this was glaringly obvious.

herself started walking towards her car, accompanied by qt. the man saw her. she explained that she was entitled to take pictures in the street as it was a public place. the man said "so you don't mind me taking pictures of you then?" "not at all!" said herself. a picture was duly taken. qt wheeled her off to her car before she could cause any more trouble.

herself had forgotten to fold her arms. the picture taken by the man has herself in her t-shirt which says "i'm blogging this". the rubbish man cannot complain that i have shared this with my readers. he was warned...


Andrea said...

I've been meaning to get one of those shirts! Won't come in nearly as handy as yours, though...

jen said...

i am glad you are home, and glad that no one carted you off.

because then, oh how would you blog about it???

Anonymous said...

There is a never a dull moment when herself is about. keep blogging! Sgt Goose.

Anonymous said...

Too funny. I need a t-shirt like that. My husband, on our anniversary, gave me a card and a tube of mustard, yes, mustard, that he had picked up in Frankfurt. I don't eat mustard, especially the hot kind. I looked at him and said "I am so blogging about this!". He got a very worried look on his face, I was only joking.

I hope you get the nast man who leaves crap everywhere. You're one tough cookie:)

Special Needs Mama said...

That's priceless. Thanks for sharing.