Thursday, January 04, 2007

uh-oh



today was the first day back at school for my boy. yesterday was the start of term but apparently the school had an insect day. this seems to be when the insects go to school instead of the children. not altogether sure why but there you are, that's the national curriculum for you. herself is off work with a hacking cough and a sore throat, which has appreciably reduced her volume. so she was there to welcome my boy when he got home.

"how was your day?" she enquired. "very good", said my boy, "we had to do a story about our christmas." "and what was your story about?" she asked. "well, mine was called 'my christmas' and had the subtitle 'fun with my psychotic family'."

"i see," said herself, starting to sound a bit worried, "so how did it go?" "well, i told them about how the smoke alarm went off and how daddy was flapping at it with a towel and f-ing and blinding and how you were saying why couldn't we just have christmas like a normal family without you ending up crying like every other day." leaving aside the fact that the peeps went round the corner for christmas lunch (so there were no conflagrations on christmas day itself) this was a fairly accurate account of proceedings over the festive season.

"so what did they say?" asked herself, nervously. the peeps are great ones for pretending to be sensible to the teachers, regardless of evidence to the contrary. "oh," said my boy, "they just said, owen, that's what everyone's christmas is like!"

well, that's ok then. so long as it isn't just us...

12 comments:

jen said...

oh, joker..this one is brilliant.

i love that he subtitled it as he did. and i love last paragraph...

is joker open for questions? such as, what does herself do when she's home alone sick? what book would she read, for instance?

Joker The Lurcher said...

thank you, dear reader. as for what herself is up to, well she has not got anything to read other than her library books. these are the source of some grief as she has run up 20 pounds worth of fines which makes the library less of a bargain. and she has read them all anyway.

so she has spent quite a bit of time lying in bed listening to radio dramas from the internet. can't wait until she is better...

Mad Hatter said...

An insect day? Really? I wonder what kind of ANTics they get up to at recess. Seriously, though, I have never heard of an insect day.

As for the school report, at least he titled it "FUN with my psychotic family."

Joker The Lurcher said...

mrs hatter, i have checked with herself and it is in fact what is called an inset day which seems to be short for in-service training. so i was wrong about the insects, which i suppose is a good thing...

Lynanne said...

Oh my! How funny but painfully real at the same time.

Thank you so much for your encouraging comments on my blog. They mean the world to me. I've just started reading your blog, but I'd like to stay a while and read more.

Here's hoping herself is feeling better soon and himself and the boy STAY HEALTHY! So many blogs I've read from distant locations have mentioned illness over the New Year. Ugh!

All the best!

deb said...

It's true, it isn't just your family, mine too. If only we could have Christmas without our families.

Mrs. Chicky said...

That sounds about right. The boy is very perceptive. And, Joker, please tell your mistress that I hope she feels better soon.

Her Bad Mother said...

Psychotic families are the best kind. So good that he's learning this early.

Lillithmother said...

Sounds like a typical "Griswold" experience! Hope herself survives - Joker, the best cure is a furry cuddle and a big sloppy kiss don'tcha think?!

Lil

Sandra said...

Loved this. Love your blog. Can't believe I am only now discovering it. I have been offline (still am really) but I had to come by and say hello. My son is so so grateful that you visit his photoblog and he looooves the dog in your photo. Thank you so much. I look forward to coming back again soon and exploring your archives.

Lawyer Mama said...

Thanks for clearing up the Insect Day, Joker. I must say I was briefly quite concerned about the education system in the UK!

Thanks for stopping by my blog and I hope herself is feeling better.

Helen said...

Children always tell it like it is...
Helen