Friday, January 12, 2007

mac 0

the comet seekers, originally uploaded by Joker the Lurcher.

the other night my boy and herself were sitting under the quilt watching a dvd on the laptop. it had come free with the paper and herself's very kind friend had purchased an extra copy because herself cannot be relied on to remember this sort of thing. the dvd was about pilates. this is not said how you would think. it is nothing to do with flying planes. it is said like karate, which is a thing like taekwondo. i will not go on about taekwondo, save to mention that herself would not have snapped her achilles tendon a couple of years ago if she had taken up knitting instead of taewkwondo.

anyway, herself and mrs captain are taking up pilates. this is part of a plan to look after themselves better. pilates is apparantly a bit like yoga but is particularly good for an aching back. which is why herself and mrs captain are taking it up. my boy was laughing at the pilates lady, who he said looked like a bug having sex, in her shiny tight outfit (my boy is used to round ladies in stretchy clothes).

the phone rang and it was mrs captain, who knows a lot about the skies. she said a comet was going past the earth. i always thought comets were where you bought things like fridges but what would i know? anyway, a plan was hatched. the following day, at the time the comet would be passing, mrs captain and herself would go and watch it. herself would take pictures and mrs captain would look at it through her telescope.

i was rather surprised to be invited on the comet-watching expedition. i tend not to be allowed up on the downs after dark because of my poaching tendencies. but herself had thought of that. after a short run off the lead i was put back on it, rather unfairly, i thought. we trekked up to a high place, together with herself and camera, mrs captain and the telescope and the wild girl and my boy's friend. my boy had not yet got home but the plan was that if a comet was around we would phone himself who would bring my boy up to see it when he got in.

anyway, there as a wild wind blowing and the trees were doing yoga. we finally came to rest at the top by which time it was pretty much dark. there was much tripod erecting. then mrs captain said some choice words (that is a polite way of saying swore, for my sensitive readers) because she had dropped a bolt from the telescope in the mud. in spite of looking with a torch and also taking flash photos and searching for the bolt in them in the camera screen, no bolt appeared. so a rock was placed in the spot so they could come back in daylight to find it. the telescope still worked in a slightly more wobbly fashion so it was action stations to look for the comet.

at this point my boy's friend and the wild girl started to get cold so i was forced to humour the young folks and run up and down with them (do not forget , dear readers, that i was confined to the lead on account of the deer and the rabbits. this human rights nonsense has got out of hand when it is applied to deer and rabbits, in my humble opinion). the sky gradually clouded over and it became quite obvious that a comet would have to be something of an exhibitionist to be seen at all.

so the decision was made to abandon the scheme and head for home. much tripod dismantling followed. then we had to trudge in the dark through a band of trees which seem to grow in mud. herself was worried the torch might remind me of my poaching days and that i would shoot off with her in tow but i managed to contain myself. to tell the truth i was rather tired after all the running and was looking forward to my warm bed.

so there are no photos of the comet. the only photos are of the comet-watchers. and the title of my post? well the comet is called mcnaught. geddit?


dogfaceboy said...

So did you do the pilates video or not?

Anonymous said...

I get it, was it all for naught? Is the joker really a poacher? My beagle is a wanker, keeps pushing the chairs away from the table so he can climb up on them and then onto the table. That's when he's not farting.

Joker The Lurcher said...

dfb: the pilates is a joy which has been saved for another day. i cannot wait to see herself in the shiny clothes...

deb: your beagle sounds a clever chap to me. i will try that chair trick when the peeps are not looking.