Sunday, December 16, 2007

the festive season

dear readers, here is my very own e-card! herself made it on the internet. you will see that my young friend rokit had to have a false beard for the photo shoot as his own beard, while promising, is really not yet up to full strength.

himself is not very festive, it has to be said. in fact he is decidedly grouchy. part of this is his general attitude to all the kerfuffle that goes on at this time of year. from what i gather, the whole christmas thing is to remember a homeless family with no money. somewhere along the line this has been transformed into a massive shopathon. the peeps have been fairly good at avoiding the worst excesses of consumerism. herself has in the past done her christmas shopping on the internet. as regular readers will know she can shop without getting out of bed, with the aid of her laptop.

however, this year the peeps have a limited budget. this is something of a euphemism (a euphemism is a type of saying, dear readers). the peeps have no money. christmas shopping is a no no. they are making home-made presents for everyone. this plan seemed a good idea a few weeks ago. it fitted in with the ecologically sound, low-carbon-footprint, knit-your-own-cleaning-products way of life. but as christmas approaches it seems much less attractive. the place is awash with bags of fabric. himself is making fudge, but unfortunately keeping an eagle eye on the ingredients, so i am unable to tell you whether it will be edible.

herself has been trying to keep things cheerful for my boy's sake. he is a great lover of christmas. his birthday is just before christmas (he was supposed to make an appearance in january but like herself, my boy does not do waiting). herself managed to purchase an electric guitar on e-bay for his birthday. he is spending his time doing a passable impression of a rockstar.

on the morning of my boy's birthday herself was making a cake. the usual plan is to make a cake in the shape of his current obsession. however, an AK47 is not a shape that is easily translated into cake, especially when herself is the chef. so she decided on a square cake.

just as she put it in the oven the post arrived. it has to be said, this particular batch of post was a bit of a downer even by current standards. the first letter was from the human resources department where herself works. it said that, as she has now been off sick for 6 months, her pay will go down to half pay as from 22 december. herself had been aware that this would happen, but true to form she had miscalculated the date and had thought she had until january.

the second letter was from her boss at work. it said that her job is at risk of redundancy. this is nothing to do with her being off sick. the whole of her team is at risk of redundancy. there is in fact no money to pay them after april. the letter finished in a masterpiece of corporate-speak: "i appreciate the timing and content of this letter are not ideal in terms of your health..."

the third letter was from the building society. these are the people who lent the peeps the money to buy our house. on the face of it this letter promised to be more cheerful. it said that interest rates had gone down and therefore the mortgage rate would also be going down. however it concluded that as the peeps were on a fixed rate mortgage this would not affect them. this raised a bit of a chuckle. its nice to see herself can see the funny side of things.

we have guests for the festivities. lupin the lurcher and his peeps are coming. i have been told in no uncertain terms that i am to wind in my teeth and behave or i will find myself in the doghouse. maybe i can come to an arrangement with him on the question of pilfering food. i think that is one area where we see eye to eye...


Maddy said...

Tagged you!

This is my calling card or link"Whittereronautism"until blogger comments get themselves sorted out.

flutter said...


This isn't good timing at all. Yet you are still so handsome all dressed up like santa!

Anonymous said...

knit-your-own-cleaning-products, too funny.

Sorry to hear about work, not the best news or the best time for it.

Hope you have a wonderful Christmas Joker, sending my love.

Patience-please said...

Yowsa you have a lot on your plate.. And you still keep a delightful sense of humor. I hope things get better and fast. (And I'm talking fast like a whippet! F.A.S.T.)

The ecard is so clever!

Patience and the whippet waggle