hello dear readers! I have been on my hols! we have had a wonderful time messing about in boats. for the first part of the week we stayed with mrs prof. while there we had a day out on a narrowboat with a friend of mrs prof. not only does this friend have a most wonderful boat but she also has two very charming lady dogs. they have interesting names – port and star – which I think are nautical terms for left and right. after a little feminist posturing when i arrived, which I managed to counter with a rakish smile, we got on like a house on fire. I even managed to inveigle their owner into supplying me with a pigs ear, which I chomped contentedly while lazing in the lady dogs’ bed. I may not have the old wedding tackle any more but I still know how to charm my way into a lady’s bed.
then this weekend we went to a place called mon-and-brec. it is a canal. my boy has been looking forward to this for some time. the peeps booked a weekend on a boat to try and cheer him up after his best friend moved abroad. the prof and mrs prof joined us. they are soon to change their names. mrs prof has been appointed a judge and in accordance with her elevated station she will now be known as her maamship. the prof will be known as his maamship although I suspect I will fall back into old ways if I am not careful.
on the way up the canal we came across some locks. these are sort of boxes where a lot of flapping around and use of nautical terms like ‘windlass’ occurs. a rather odd-looking dog came out to meet us. he was grey with yellow eyes. “he’s a weimaraner” explained herself. “I think you will find it is pronounced marina” said my boy in the aloof tone of an ancient sea-dog.
on Sunday morning the peeps decided to leave showering until after a flight of locks (a sound idea as herself got splashed with mucky water). those of us who were lucky enough to be on dry land were walking along to the towpath to ready the lock for the boat. rounding a bend we came across a film crew. a grinning man who looked as though he had been ironed walked towards us on the towpath. “oh gawd, “ said mrs prof-soon-to-be-her-maamship, “I haven’t got me slap on!” herself had been up since 5.30am and looked like a wild animal. it would have taken more than a good slap to make her presentable.in an effort to distract attention I tried a couple of tackles of the ironed man, hoping to plunge him into the canal. he was obviously a wily old film star and neatly side-stepped me with a toothy grin. the film crew waited until the peeps were playing with the lock and then filmed the great man’s entrance again. so my debut in the movies may have to be postponed…