waterworks

young dave has had a little trouble with his waterworks. i had wondered if it was entirely normal for a chap of his age to still need to pop out to have a tinkle twice during the night, and herself has muttered repeatedly about the lack of sleep.

so yesterday young dave was carted off to the evil vet for a once over. in order for a proper diagnosis herself had to obtain a sample of wee. now given the amount of wee that young dave has been producing lately this should not have been a problem. but the sample of wee has to be free from contamination by gravel or soil or other substances so it has to be obtained straight from the dog, before it hits the ground.

i was a little puzzled when herself asked himself if she could steal one of his little pots from the hospital. i had visions of the hospital having the heebie jeebies about superkidny if the samples got muddled up. i was also a little puzzled as to how herself proposed to persuade young dave to aim into the tiny bottle. but true to form, she came up with a devilish plan. having researched the obtaining of samples from puppies on the internet, she collected the necessary tools from the kitchen - a funnel and a soup ladle.

young dave duly performed the deed and herself held the soup ladle in the correct general area. the resulting sample was then poured through the funnel into the tiny bottle. she is nothing if not resourceful.

when they saw the evil vet he dipped a stick into the wee and pronounced it very alkaline. as far as i knew young dave has not been having excessive baths or drinking shampoo so this was rather odd. the evil vet asked herself to provide a second sample, taken first thing in the morning, in order to check for crystals. in the meantime young dave was given some pink pills for pale pooches.

so 5am saw herself in the garden, in the dark, in her pyjamas chasing young dave around with a soup ladle. the resultant sample was packaged in a jiffy bag and posted through the letterbox at the evil vet's surgery, looking rather like a suspicious package. the evil vet telephoned later on, with the news that young dave does not appear to have much wrong other than a little infection. i knew the young whippersnapper was malingering.

so the soup ladle is back in its rightful place, having been thoroughly washed. the only trouble with this method of collecting samples is that no-one will want to chance eating soup round at ours for a while...